The True Source of Anger

Anger is one of the basic group of emotions that have been explored over the eons by artists, philosophers, spiritual thinkers and common people everywhere.

The typical idea is that anger is normal, but can be controlled and should be controlled or at least managed.  Unlike fear which is sometimes required in order to survive, anger serves no greater purpose than to fog our judgment and raise our blood pressure.

I recently have re-awakened my thinking, regarding anger, after a series of both large and small incidents over the past 3-4 months, probably starting just before our trip to England and continuing on through very recent days.

It is one thing to understand the ideas about anger and anger management, it is quite another to be able to both employ management strategies and more importantly discover the true nature of one's anger and experience it in a purely emotional and almost spiritual way.  I took this deep dive several times during this angry period and have basically come to the same conclusions as everyone else who has thought about this topic, however for me the essence was missing until I finally allowed myself to see myself for who and what I was when angry.

I have realized that all (100%) of my anger is actually directed at myself.  Sure, I may yell at another person or write a nasty email or vent to a friend about a situation that "made me angry", but the fact is that the root of my anger in each and every situation was anger at myself.

Anger at myself for allowing something trivial to frustrate me.

Anger at myself for allowing others to get the upper hand and make me feel insecure or stupid.

Angry that the Universe doesn't treat me with any special significance or deference, but rather all of the rules of the physical world apply to me in amazing equality with all other human beings.

Anger at myself  because I am not as smart, full of foresight or wisdom or aware as I wish I could be.

Anger at myself for making misjudgments and mistakes.

Anger at myself for placing importance on things (material, status, control) which I have no right to have or no possibility of achieving.

I am mostly angry at myself for not accepting the fact that I am human.  One of 7+ billion on the planet and maybe 1 of 50 + billion that ever existed.

I get angry at me for being me.

What a stupid waste of time and energy? - oh shit, there I go getting angry with myself ,,,, AGAIN

A Couple of Examples of When Humanity Took a Wrong Turn

We can infer that every generation of humans has wondered if their current generation or the next, would be the last.  We can infer this because since the dawn of writing (5,000 - 7,000 years ago) and even the act of writing recording previously passed down oral history and mythology they all seem to  contain some reference to the concept that things at that moment were degenerating and that the next generation is useless and we are all doomed sometime soon.  While 100,000 years or so (when we believe the first modern humans evolved) is small on the cosmic time scale, by human standards it is 4,500 or so generations (a long time). 

So at least 4,500 generations of parents and grand parents sat around the tree, the campfire, the cave pit, the wheat field, the hut, house or TV and bemoaned the state of humanity and in many cases wrote about, prayed about, studied, dreamed and made prophecies about our extinction.  So far, these concerns and predictions have been very wrong.

We are definitely at once a very self critical and a very impatient species!

So, please keep this observation in mind as you read further.  Sure, at some point our species will become extinct, there is no denying that, but the when and the how are truly impossible to determine and I am not going to quickly join the ranks of all the other generations and say, hey - our greatest times are behind us and the future is screwed..... well ???

I often say that the two worst inventions in the history of mankind are religion and the internal combustion engine.  I use these two "inventions" both metaphorically and factually to make many points about what is wrong with us humans as a species.  I suppose that I could have chosen tribes, slavery, government,  war or technology in general, but humor me on this and accept that the single TWO worst inventions in human history were religion and the internal combustion engine.  I will use these two inventions to build my case as to what is fundamentally wrong with humans.

Religion:

Religion is the outgrowth of fear and the need to control the tribe.  It is a structural and internally useful tool for those who want to control others, to do so.  While this in and of itself is immoral, it would be ridiculous to concede that both the popularity and (superficial) effectiveness of this tool can be questioned.  Religion works very well as a control mechanism, especially as humans began clumping together in "civilized" groups around 7,000 years ago. 

The second problem with religion however is that it requires believers to see other religions as wrong.  Those who speak of religious tolerance are missing the whole point.  Even "Universalists" who say that they believe in a higher power who has some say in the outcome of things and that spirituality is a normal part of the human experience and therefore "accept" all religions, are wrong in this case.  By stating those beliefs they are denouncing every other religion, which is in fact exclusive.  Meanwhile, any person who truly follows a religion and is not a hypocrite, is required to submit to the idea that their religion is the only true and valid one.  The end result of this fact is that we can now employ this powerful tool to not only control those inside our own village, tribe, state, country, sect, but we can justify treating those with other beliefs in inhumane ways, by diminishing their humanity.  There are thousands of examples, dating back thousands of years.  Sure, there are examples of tolerance between tribes, nations and sects and even cooperation - but in almost every case where this exists, under neath the relationship is always a component of doubt.  This mutual acceptance is often race and religiously based and is done for pragmatic, economic reasons - not because we really want to.  Ask yourself why we rebuilt Germany and Japan after WWII and have not rebuilt Iraq and Afghanistan after those wars?  Germany is made up of mostly white Christians and also was one of the largest groups of immigrants moving to America in the previous two centuries.  Japan (and later South Korea) was our best chance at having a necessary "foot hold" in East Asia to battle the Cold War.  We don't really give a shit about poor brown people from a multitude of Islamic sects living in a desert.  

The third problem with religion is that it not only promotes conflict and divisiveness in a multi-cultural New World country like the US, it is based on irrational thinking.  We are systematically and culturally saying that it is okay (if not preferred) to have adults believe in fairy tales.  If religion wasn't popular and accepted by so many, wouldn't someone spouting the ideas of angels and gods and a messiah and conspiracy and the subjugation of others and claiming that those who disagree with them will burn in eternal fire or be subjected to being reincarnated over and over until they "get it right" be put in a mental hospital?  How can a society have a rational debate and enact rational solutions about how to treat its citizens, protect its borders and take care of its economy, when it supports and promotes irrational thought as the "higher authority"?

The Internal Combustion Engine:

For full disclosure, I must admit that I once worked in a Diesel Engine Factory.  At any rate, why is the internal combustion engine the second worst invention of humanity? 

To be fair, the act of invention itself, isn't really the problem.  At the time, technology was growing at a rapid pace and one of the possible (not the only possible) next logical step was to invent a small, portable and powerful version of a steam engine or other device that could be mass produced and use to do the work of humans and animals at a fraction of the "apparent" cost.

The problem was that both the diesel and later the gasoline versions of the internal combustion engine were too good in some ways.  The ability to produce these things at a lower purchase price skyrocketed with the ideas of mass production (interchangeable parts) and the assembly line.  In addition they became a very stubborn platform from which to continuously improve upon the basic model, making them cheaper, faster and more efficient.  Coupled with the significant cost of creating the support infrastructure (factories, roads, refineries, oil fields, gas stations) and giving control of that vast infrastructure to the children of visionaries and entrepreneurs, who - as many next generation wealthy brats do, hope to continue the legacy, without seeing the negative impact of defending their positions.  All they could see was the cash cow of continuing to build these beasts.

What are the social costs?

• Poor air quality
• More "unnatural deaths" caused by trucks and automobiles than any other tool ever invented
• Lead poisoning (until a reluctant Congress was embarrassed into pushing unleaded gas, in spite of millions of lobbying dollars from oil companies)
• Rapid acceleration (pun intended) of the destruction of our planet's ability to sustain human life for the next 150 years.
• Yet another reason to use religion as an excuse to wage war in West Asia and North Africa

The saddest part of this story is two-fold.  Wind energy was already in wide use when Mr. Diesel patented his engine and solar power was recognized as the energy - holy grail of the new physics that was emerging at the time.  Had the invention of the internal combustion engine been delayed for about 40-50 years, it would have been a write off and we would all be using solar, nuclear and wind power in all of their forms and varieties.

Any engineer will tell you that the true test of the perfection and efficiency of an invention is how much waste it creates.  Waste is usually found when heat, noise and non-renewable by products are created from the process in question.  The internal combustion engine FAILS in all of these categories.  They are very loud (need mufflers), they run crazy hot (need oil for lubrication and heat exchange and in addition a toxic water blended cooling system, fan, pump and radiator).  The by products of their use are poisonous gasses and gasses that accelerate the natural warming cycles of the planet.  What a horrific design?!

So, what is the future of the human species?

I have no clue, but like the arrogant cockroaches that we are, we will continue to adapt and do our best to survive in a more and more harsh world, never thinking that things wouldn't have had to "be this difficult, had we not made so many wrong turns". 

Ending Our Universe in One "Easy" Step

I have written about religion and meditation and the unfolding of the Universe a lot.

I have given much thought to the concept of Free Will and whether or not it exists (outside ourselves) and I have written a chain of commentary on why I believe that our Universe (note the use of our) is a condition that is predetermined.  These are beliefs, unproven and likely not provable. These are beliefs based on the study of our Universe and ideas derived from much thought and serious contemplation.  (see previous blog posts for details).

It occurred to me, as I was reviewing my contemplation on this topic for logic errors, that it would be a fun thought experiment to wonder what would happen in a predetermined universe if some being or some consciousness actually developed a method to exercise Free Will.

I was surprised that even in a mental state of willful discipline, my mind raced toward a "gut feel" response of - That Universe would cease to exist.

This gave me the idea for the title to this piece, putting "Easy" in quotes to sarcastically make the link between the ease of the answer to the "what" could be done to end our Universe against the impossible or improbable task of the "how" to do it.

Many religions and followers of "holy" people or thinkers, have a concept of mortal or near mortal beings who once existed or currently do exist (popes, gurus, lamas, witches, oracles)  that claim to have achieved or nearly achieved some for of transcendence.

To me true transcendence would indicate a discovery of a true self, soul or such an independent entity within one's self and simultaneously know the fabric of the universe in all of its spaces and times.  That is a huge position to be able to get to.

Now imagine getting there and you become aware of your place in that fabric and understand at an almost mystical or metaphysical level how your existence is at once but a small part of that fabric, but that the fabric could not exist without you.

Then further imagine removing your "self" from that fabric.

At that instant the fabric would no longer exist.  You would have effectively ended the Universe by transcendence and committing an act of Free Will - unless of course that was the way that the particular Universe you existed in was meant to end ........... (circular I know, sorry)

You Either Get It or You Don't

So, we live in a fractious time where we simultaneously embrace and hate the dual threats of deviciveness and instantiaity of our social media culture. 

We all (see the rest of my blog entries, for example) self identify and argue about wealth, race, religion, politics, beliefs, logic, reason and the color blue. 

Having said all of this I had a thought that what really predicts how I chose friends, employees and any significant for of human interaction or entertainment of mostly based on one thing. 

"Does the person, place or thing Get It?" 

Regardless of who or what you are, where you're from, where you're going or what you believe in or think about, you either Get It or you don't. 

"Getting it" does transcend all of those things. "Getting it" transcends trancendence itself. 

"Getting it" is a balanced view of logic and humanity. "Getting it" is a blend of pragmatism and passion. "Getting it" is a combination of curiosity and native intelligence (smart like a comedian, not necessarily smart like Einstein - although Einstein definitely got it). 

Diverse Types "get it"

MLK - black, baptist, change agent

Ghandi - Hindu, conflicted, change agent 

A lot in common, but so much different. 

Einstein - singular genius, rockstar

Kurt Cobain - rockstar, genius, OD'd

How alike were they? Unknown.....

I could list numerous family, friends and acquaintances that "get it", but would feel sad for those who don't. 

Those that "Get It" have some other traits, all of which seem to me to be mostly organic or in their DNA, not taught or learned - certainly not taught or learned after very early years. I see it in my grandkids now. 

* Seem a lot less happy on the outside, than they feel on the inside. 

* Proud. Hate all slackers, but hate their inner slacker the most. 

* Know how to have fun, even binge and go all bacchanalian at times, then go stoic. Can appear quite socially bipolar. 

* Don't believe in only one "life love". Realistic to know that they can be happy for decades with someone, but there are others and more importantly WERE others and it's okay, it's human. 

* Love to laugh

* Love to work - Need to work 

* Love to be rewarded in ways that are meaningful to them. 

* Honestly care little of what others think of them, yet expect recognition. 

* Have a HIGHLY passionate sense of justice and fair play coupled with a STRONG empathy and compassion for the human condition. 

* Usually not the best dressed or well groomed people in the room, but still found to be attractive by those in the room. 

* Defined by their accomplishments, which they see as being defined by their habits and behaviors. 

* Appreciate irony, eccentricity and weird, yet find warmth in normal things. 

* Read a lot, I mean - a lot

* Pay attention to details and the present. Daydream about the future less than others and dwell on the past only during occasional bouts of reminiscing. 

* Are easily bored, but are comfortable with doing nothing, with no one. 

The End

Why I Mock Religion - All Religions

Why I Mock Religion

I rarely take much "in your face" heat over my unrelenting dismissal of all things religious.   In fact to some extent I am perplexed by the fact that people so solemnly follow the old adage, "never talk about religion or politics".

At any rate, as I have said many times, I gave up on religion at about the same time I gave up on Santa Claus and for mostly the same reasons.  Not only could no one prove the existence of Santa or God, they really couldn't give me a significant, rational purpose in the act of continuing to believe.

Even pragmatically, when I stopped believing in Santa, I still got Christmas gifts, so that didn't end poorly at all .....

So, because I loved (and love) people in my life who are people of faith, I stoically swallowed my disbelief and became at best a closet agnostic and at worst an unfaithful atheist.  Then I got older, had some time on my hands, career and family security and felt less encumbered by what others really thought of me and I decided to expose myself as the religious bigot that I had become decades before.

Soon, after examining my own thoughts and looking at our world, I realized that I wasn't just an atheist, but that I was actually angered and sickened by religion.  I am an anti-theist.

I think that I blogged about some reasons why before, but that was mostly on an intellectual level.

What do I FEEL and what do I BELIEVE.  I mean if we are talking about faith, I should speak in the language of faith.  Feeling and Believing and Passion and Soulfulness - not taking an academic or philosophical or scholarly view, but a HUMAN view.

The two most common arguments from others as to why I mock religion are (1) By mocking something that isn't testable, I feel smarter or superior to those that are willing to give up logic and simply believe and (2) I actually do believe in my deepest psyche and I am masking fear by being overtly anti-God.

So, before I share my feelings on the subject, let me respond to these seemingly logical and oft used accusations.

To the First - sadly, no matter how I wish it wasn't true, I do in fact feel that I am endowed with an intellect that is above average - meaning simply that I am not special in any profound way, but that more precisely, I am simply smarter than "most" people.  This seems to be a fact.  Given that I am aware of this fact and given that others are also aware of this fact and given that if anything being (on average) superior in some respect to others, actually makes me very uncomfortable.  So, no, my normal motivations are to appear more common and less smart, not the other way around.  Sure, I talk a lot and post a lot of things (some non-sense), but in my mind the more someone talks, the dumber they usually look.  So again, I think by rambling, I am actually covering for myself and trying to fit in.  Something I have desired for most of my life.  At the end of the day, I actually RESPECT those that are truly faithful and have faith and hold their faith dear.  It takes a lot of courage to believe something that is unproven and unknowable.  The only problem is that for every TRUE believer, there are thousands that pretend and those pretenders are so transparent to me, I often feel like my "super power" is seeing their doubt and hypocrisy. (a pop culture jest in case you think I am serious about super powers)

To the Second accusation - While I have no qualms about tempting God, because I have had a great life (for the most part) and consider myself lucky, not cursed and frankly "blessed", I have never had the moment when I thought that a higher power was about to strike me down. Also, by not believing, I don't buy into the punishment thing and while I do believe that evil exists, I know that it exists as part of the human condition, the human mind, the human culture and sub-culture.  It is not a conspiracy of the heavens, evil is a coding error in the human brain.  There is no hell and often, bad people actually prosper and do well, those of whom who are not completely insane or anti-social.  In fact the observation that "good things happen to bad people" and "bad things happen to good people" is one of the many unknowable questions that religion so conveniently answers for those that can't stand the idea of having things without explanations.

Now - Why do I mock religion?

(1) All religion is premised on the key that humans are defective.  It takes away a person's self worth.
(2) Religious differences are a major (not only) factor in tribal conflict, war, death and injustice.
(3) Religion is based on illogical premises, propagated by arbitrary references and a misuse of the capacity of the human intellect.  Many intelligent and/or well educated people are people of faith, but religion prospers most where secular education is either the least effective or the least respected.
(4) Religion is used by one class of humans to control and manipulate another class of humans.
(5) Every religion that has ever existed, has failed to endure, once enough time has passed.  5,500 or 2,000 years is nothing.  If you wait long enough, the big 5 will fade away (Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, Hinduism).
(6) Taxes, Tithing and Supplication = Social and Political Injustice
  
I do NOT mock religion because I hate religious people.  I mock religion because I hate religion.

Some Things I have Learned

The other day I was sitting still (calm mind, calm body) and took a few moments to contemplate some things that I have learned during my 51-1/2 years on earth.  I list them here in no particular order, with no particular scheme and with the absolute belief that I have learned much more than this, but these are what came to mind at the time.

It is highly desirable to embrace your HONEST nature, but try making some changes within a reasonable scope - as this exercise does not simply improve you as a person, but more importantly builds character and confidence.

Follow your gut instinct in life's most serious or dangerous situations, however - otherwise ignore your impulses when making every day decisions.  Instead rely on an abundance of objective information and even the opinions of others.

Be Polite

Travel

Friends =>  Quality over Quantity
Acquaintances => Quantity over Quality, Networking is Real

Read as much and as often as possible

Meditate and Exercise consistently and in a disciplined way

Live, Love and Laugh - ESPECIALLY laugh.  Live in the Present.  Love those most that love you in return and animals too.

Make time to seriously contemplate the mysteries of your existence and your present state, but minimize time spent fantasizing about the future.

Learn to Let Go

Forgive yourself.  Don't let yourself off of the hook for bad behavior, but be like a good parent to yourself.  Correct and forgive.  Self loathing is possibly the worst form of sin.

Only kill what you eat or that which is an immediate threat to your life.

Intermission #3 - A Summary of My DNA analysis from the National Geographic "Genographic Project"

I chose to participate in the National Geographic, "Genographic Project" for several reasons.  First, I was and am curious about everything, so this was just one more THING to wonder about and learn about, both how the process would work and what information about myself I may uncover.  Secondly, while I was pretty certain that my pre-American ancestors were from Germany (paternally) and South Eastern Europe (maternally), there were some inconsistent stories and even interesting physical attributes that brought some of this vague understanding into question.  People in America, often talk about their European, Asian or African heritage (even if their family immigrated to the US generations ago) as part of their personal identity.  When these guessing games would start, many people would guess that I was either "Italian", "Greek" or "Jewish" due in part I suppose to certain stereotypical physical characteristics.  (My large nose and ease with which I tan included)  Lastly, most non-Africans have some non-human DNA remnants from either or both the Neanderthal or Denisovan species, due to inbreeding during the largest waves of human emigration from Africa and into Asia and Europe between 50,000 and 70,000 years ago.  I was therefore curious as to how "human" I am.

It is very important to understand the verbiage of this analysis.  Nowhere can or does this DNA analysis say that a person is X% one or another ethnicity, but rather it compares my DNA samples to those of sample found in migrating groups and in current world populations and is an active and ongoing project to determine how patterns in DNA changed as humans migrated out of Africa and spread across the world.  The language used to describe specific points of understand is precise and is meant to be so.

So anyway, here is what I learned:

(1) The average person with European migratory ancestry has about 2.1% Neanderthal DNA.  I happen to have 1.6%.  The average Euro-Asian has about 2% Denisovan DNA and I have 1.0%. Oddly, that makes me slightly more "human" than most of the people reading this blog post, other than Africans or direct disendants of Africans who happen to be the only people on the planet that are in fact 100% human.

(2) When compared to samples gathered from around the globe, my DNA fits a pattern of migration that includes 41% Northern Europe (density center in Northern Germany), 40% Mediterranean (density center in Northern Greece and Serbia), 18% South West Asian (density center in Persia a.k.a. Iran).

(3)  The modern country with the most people with similar Paternal DNA patterns is Germany (no suprise there, given what I've been told).  The modern country with the most people with similar Maternal DNA patterns is Romania.  Not far off from what I have been told, but a bit more Southern and Asiatic than I was led to believe (no worries).

(4) Weirdly, the country with the most people who have the same combination of my Paternal and Maternal DNA pattern is Ireland even though no one in my family has ever claimed to have relatives in Ireland.  I guess many of my German-Romanian ancestors got stuck in a pub in Ireland on their way to the US and never left.  Probably due to the Guinness.

 In the end this little experiment both added to the library of migratory knowledge about our species and gave me something interesting to read.  The fact is, that ALL of our ancestors can be genetically traced to a very small, common group of people in Africa who were the very first "us".  The rest of the migratory stories are just as interesting and varied as is eye, skin and hair color.

Personally, I found it interesting that my grand parents, great-grandparents and great-great grandparents were able to pass along both an oral history of "where we were from" as well as a chemical history and in my case the two matched pretty closely.