Thursday, September 9, 2010

Birthday Poem For Me, From Me

I Saw a Man On a Far Away Hill

I saw a man on a far away hill
One day around about seven
I found myself on this familiar path
Moving forward as if magically driven

To say I saw a man was true
Though his shape and form were ghostly
Somehow a man he was I knew
Even with no outline, mostly

The walk was pleasant, the air usually warm
The smells and feelings sweet
As I naively plodded on along
Occasional stones cutting my feet

I found that reading was difficult enough
And writing was most unpleasant
That changed a bit when my eyes were tested
And spectacles became my newest present

The path soon changed and became quite steep
And over run with weeds
It seemed that I was constantly torn
Between my own and other’s needs

The voice in my head mentioned fourteen
And I noticed the path was widening
I was mostly excited while also a bit scared
To see so many options inviting

As I focused my eyes to see that man
Still very far away
I wondered why he remained so far, so distant
And formless that day

My legs carried me on as if they had
No other choice in the matter
I must admit poor decisions were made
And socially I was in tatters

At one point, I think one June
I looked back down the path
And while I could see from where I came
All I could do was laugh

How silly I was for walking this far
Without a plan or a cause
To go see a man who I couldn’t imagine
Even less had he’d been Santa Claus

One other thing that I had noticed
With much pain and introspect
Was all of the Y’s in the road behind
Seemed to now be circumspect

Did I really choose or was the road
Always so obvious and true?
Or maybe it just always looks that way
When you stop, look and wonder “what else could I do?”

From here and there to across the world
The walk seemed to become about show
How could a person travel so far
And end up with so much farther to go?

The path behind so clear and crisp
The road ahead so wild
Had I really been walking all this time
Since when I was a child?

The Journey complicated by hate and love
And other types of feelings
The road often dank at other times lovely
Not to mention all those business dealings

The man, my God he must be old
For he’s been there all this time
His form and shape seem less to change
As they become more solid in my mind

Today is my birthday, I am 47
And I am rounding upon him still
He’s just right there and then he’s not
But always on that hill

How much longer before I shake his hand
And ask him “please tell me your name?”
Although I think that exercise
Will seem very awkwardly lame

I hope he is all I wished him to be
Confident, happy and secure
But most of all I hope that he is
Calm, peaceful and mature

From this distance I can just make out
A smile upon his face
His eyes seem wise, his skin is worn
Though his demeanor does show some grace

I think he’s nearly just that man
That I had glimpsed a few times before
I think he understands that life
Can be quite a bitter chore

In spite of life’s crooked path
Full of rocks and hills and weeds
He looks to me like the type of guy
Who now, has everything he needs

I hope that soon I will meet this man
And we can travel together
Because who knows how much more of this path
Will be fraught with stormy weather

But I have a feeling that when we join
Up together just over there
It will be like we’ve always known each other
And will travel as one without care

Live Life, Love Always and Laugh Often
I am sure that is his creed

And if he articulates his personal goals
I am sure they are the same as for me:
To Love and Be Loved
To Learn New Things
To Perform Meaningful Work
In hopes that those three things will lead
To Finding Inner Peace as the Perk

I saw myself on a far away hill
One day when I was seven
I knew that it would take some time
To get to my personal heaven

47 years may be a long time
But there is more time still left
To join with that vision upon that hill
And to become even happier yet

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