Wednesday, December 30, 2009

2010 - Techno Disappointments Continue (My Vision of the Future, Unwound)

A bit of an old story, I was born in 1963 and all I heard about when growing up was how much easier and peaceful and safe and great life would be in the 21st century...

This is a tale of a highly disappointed techno-freak.

My Cell Phone - my cell phone is too big, too heavy, reboots itself too often and does not have a strong singal 100% of the time. The battery needs charging nightly and more frequently if I actually use if for talking and not just for text or email. When will Star Trek - like communicators ever be the norm? Blue tooth devices don't count, they don't work consistently and they make the user look either pretentious or geeky.

My Laptop - much like my cell phone, it is too big and heavy and has a crap battery. My vision of a proper personal computer is a voice and touch activated model that is about the size of a book and as thin as a small town newspaper, with a battery that runs on combination of solar power and your body heat/pulse/electrical charges. Don't get me started on how NOT 21st century Windows is .... *yawns while waiting for this post to autosave* It seems that Mircosoft has an agenda that is intertwined with government "security" agencies and other bureaucracies that bog us down with unnecessary "over head" software. OPEN formats please !!

My Vehicle - no automatic, wing-like doors or voice command features. No auto drive home from the bar/club/in-laws program. Today's automobiles are still powered by the most popular, dirty and inefficient thing ever invented, the internal combustion engine. "They" haven't even invented a decent windshield wiper yet!!

Forget hovering, just give me a quiet, clean, efficient machine that looks futuristic and works well when I'm drunk, in bad weather and/or lost. One the automatically takes a fellow home, instead of to a girly bar, if it is after 11pm and shots of Jaeger were consumed.

My Music - today's music is awesome and while my Ipod is close to being perfect in size, power consumption and useability, this whole software and licensing thing is just a right pisser. Meanwhile, I have to fuck around either downloading things or copying CDs, while the I-tunes police check for legality.

In the movies, music just plays in the background when you need it. THAT is what I want!

My HD-TV - I absolutely love HD-TV. Two things prevent it from being nearly perfect.

First is that you have to pay out the ass for the programs AND they still include commercials/ads. WTF? I am not going to buy your crap, so stop pestering me. I buy food when I'm hungry and other shit when I need it. Would people actually stop buying things if there were no adverts? I think that we have evolved to be lazy enough NOT to make our own food, clothes, cars, visa cards - so no.

Secondly, there is nothing worse (actually there are a lot of things worse, like being burned alive or eaten by ants) than non-HD channels on an HD-TV. Very sickening to change a channel and momentarily think that you have glaucoma. Then again, we all know what the best treatment for glaucoma is..... *coughs*

Bio-IDs - this one irritates me, much like the computer and phone, because the basic technology exists and works, but has NOT been perfected. Lets get on with finger print and retinal and ear loop scans for shit sakes. This would eliminate the need for me to carry a wallet and keys and that alone improves my quality of life by 1000 fold (or a tri-fold). Bio scans can even become your plane ticket, concert ticket ... well you get the picture.

Perfect the technology and employ it already!!! Screw those paranoid fucks that think that our biology is the last bastian of personal privacy. That is nonesense, government has been violating our persons for a long time (hence the term "Washington is fucking me in the ass again").

Replacement Body Parts, Healthcare and Feeling Healthy - those that know me know that I believe that health care is an inalienable right. Also, you know that the company that I work for produces materials used in the joint replacement industry. According to the AMA, we are 5 years away from stem cell/matrix built organ replacements for all major organs (other than the brain, even though that will be possible - sans memories and all the shit that we learned during our life). Within 10 years we will routinely be able to use stem cells (God willing that the God fearing Right Wing allows us) to cure heart, kidney, bone and muscular deseases to include cancer.

My biggest fear is that the "pharmacutical companies" will fight this progress, just like the oil companies and the Taliban are fighting to keep the internal combustion engine the NORM.

(do you see a pattern emerging? I think that "Big Business" is screwing us out of my vision of the future!)

Synthahol - fake alcohol that gets you buzzed, but requires no hangover and can be reversed immediately with a shot. I suppose the only ones opposed to this would be farmers? The yeast lobby? WTF? If we can't force Detroit to build us a car that drives us home drunk, why not at least sober up the driver before starting the car?

Safe Sex with Holograms and/or Robots - about 250 people die each year in the US at the hands (feet, tentacles, transfer tables, pinchers) of robots. Sex with robots of the current vintage of technology is strongly discouraged. Holograms? Well they lack substance, being made of light waves, regardless of what SF movies tell us. As a youth in the late 60s and early 70s, my fascination with the female form and the future, really made me think that one day this reality would happen => a subservient, hot looking "partner" that gave you awesome sex, then cleaned your house, did your laundry, maintained your auto and home and cooked you dinner. If they even remotely looked human and carried on in light conversation and had soft, warm skin, you could certainly fall in love with them, thus fulfilling all of our human needs.

Huh. *looks dreamily into the air*

I could suggest that the "women's" lobby is the force preventing this from happening, but that would assume that women don't want the same things from a partner OR that using a fake person to do these things for them is somehow less fulfilling than badgering a real person to provide them. (j/k dear)

Of course the LARGEST impediment to robot/hologram sex is figuring out if using said methods of pleasure constitute "cheating". If it does then vibrators and porn would have to be cheating and THAT is a very slippery (yuck, you don't want to slide on THAT) slope => i.e. we are all cheaters. If sex with inanimate objects doesn't constitute cheating, then sex with a passed out, drunk young woman is okay even though some police, judges and loved ones think that it is almost like rape, sort of.

Back in 1972, at age 9, I never realized that the future was going to be so full of ethical dilemmas.

Space Travel, Time Travel, World Travel - the title alone almost says it all!

What is the point of having a future if you can't travel to it and bring back cool shit to patent and get crazy rich on or take over the world with?

What's the point of having a past if you can't go there and break up your mom and dad's first date and never be born?

No Need for Money - most futuristic movies depict society as being quite communist, were we all live in peace and everyone has a job to do that contributes to the overall benefit of society and there are no wars, no money and things usually work really well until some crazy guy wants to take over the world with the help of lizard-like accomplices from another galaxy.

Except for the last part, that all sounds really good to me.

Hopefully, China will continue to buy our debt and some day foreclose on America, imprison the Western world in a cooperative state, use their free, western, graduate level, engineering education to develop all of the above technology and send us all into my vision of the future.

Hopefully !

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Terrorism Unveiled

*warning contains mature language (multiple syllables, proper spelling and correct grammar, but plenty of run on sentences), unmeant racial slurs and sarcasm*

Did you notice the title? Kind of funny since we know that all terrorist's girlfriends and wives wear veils...

If you were surprised by the "Christmas Plane Bomber" then please stop reading and return to watching the "TV land" network. The only part that surprised me was that it took so long to happen.

So, what did our newest illegal immigrant who is sucking the life out of our health care system (he was badly burned and we are giving him free health care at the University of Michigan - something no American is entitled to) teach us with his failed attempt?

(1) That I have been correct all along that the new screening programs that we and our allies have employed are a colossal waste of money and totally ineffective.

(2) That we all have to recognize what our gut instincts have always known, if there is a will, there is a way and NOTHING will prevent our enemy from blowing up planes - sooner or later.

(3) That our best defense against terror attacks are (1) bystanders who are willing to beat the crap out of a the guy or gal sitting next to them that is trying to light a bomb and (2) some training in the use of fire extinguishers.

Apparently, our governments and the governments of our allies have learned nothing, but that will NOT stop them from over-reacting and doing more stupid things, like further restricting our ability to take deodorant and toothpaste in our carry-ons and not allowing us to mess about in our carry on luggage during the last hour of a flight. I find that both of these moves hinder, rather than help in our fight against enemy attacks.

Without deodorant and toothpaste, ALL passengers on my plane will smell dirty, so how am I supposed to identify the true Islamic Extremist without the tell tale sweaty, foul breathed smell?

Secondly, if we can't get into our luggage during the last hour of the flight, the enemy will have to sew their bomb components in their underwear ........ never mind.

I have an idea, how about when a guy's dad calls your embassy and tells them that his kid has lost his mind and joined a cult that likes killing Americans, maybe we should not let that guy's son fly until some investigation (including his luggage, underwear, ass cavity and Ipod) is performed.

I am CERTAIN that increasing the amount of screening that is performed on me will NEVER prevent an attack.... well that is not completely true. If this silliness continues, I may be forced to switch sides.

The good news for our enemy is that they are slowly and methodically gaining insight into how to bring down a commercial airliner. So if you figure that they try a new method every 6 months and that it takes 4-8 trials to perfect it and if you understand that this is the 3rd or 4th person that we have "caught in a failed attempt" and that we catch about half of their operatives, logic would say that we are within 6 months of the next plane being blown up.

See, this is a war and the guys running the show are not "crazed terrorist", they are warriors. They are our enemy. And the way that war works is that you do bad shit to the other side, until they give up or die. Typically, you wage a political, propaganda, overt and covert war. (that is the way that the US used to do war until we decided that the political, propaganda and covert parts were too difficult, time consuming and did not make our defense contractors rich enough)

So our enemy is acting overtly in Afghanistan, Iraq, Somalia, Yemen, Pakistan and India, while acting covertly in those countries and in the UK, Germany and the US (among others). Politically, they are acting in Iran, Pakistan, Syria, Lebanon and Palestine. Propaganda wise they are EVERYWHERE. (wonders if Simon Cowell is their Minister of Propaganda)

Here are some tools that you may wish to use to help you deal with the war that we are engaged in:

(1) As soon as you stop seeing these people and organizations as "crazed terrorists" and start seeing them as a legitimate enemy with an agenda and a strategy, the sooner that you will be able to not only understand what and why they do what they do, but possibly understand how to make yourself REALLY feel safer.

(2) Talk to your government leaders and ask them to:

(a) Not waste more money on the TSA budget, in fact I would recommend eliminating the TSA and screening altogether. In order to fly, each person would be required to have a license. In order to get that license you must be proficient in the use of martial arts and firearms and you must take your hands, feet and gun with you on the plane. Also, you have the authority to strip search any passenger at any time. In order to make it all seem logical, free alcohol should be served to all customers, starting in the boarding lounge. Another option would be to anesthetize every passenger and wake them up after landing.

(b) Develop and Implement an Energy policy that eliminates (not reduces, but eliminates) our dependence on foreign oil AND improves our environment.

(c) Treat Israel like any other country and not like they are "God's chosen people" and that "a Strong Israel will facilitate the second coming of Jesus". Although it is true that a strong Israel could eventually lead to the end of the Human Race in a massive war (Armageddon), I see no reason to push toward that end anytime soon. I don't hate Jews, I just don't like them any more than non-Jewish Arabs.

(d) Draft a constitutional amendment and get it passed that requires 2 years of mandatory national service (military, medical, social work, infrastructure development, foreign aide) at the age of 18 AND adds the right to health care into the Bill of Rights. This will help us fight terrorism, because it will humble many young Americans and teach them the value of human life and humanity itself and after my slovenly, self-centered generation and everyone over 22 dies off, the world will be a better place and Americans will be respected.

(e) Kill anyone and everyone that wishes to do us harm. Hey, I am not into wars, but I am into killing those that wish to kill me and my family and friends. Quit fucking around with "nation building" and "delivering democracy" to people that don't want or need it. Spend our resources on killing bad guys, killing those that help bad guys (a.k.a. bad guys) and blowing up, burning and destroying their camps, bank accounts, communications networks and goats. (I will miss Feta cheese if it becomes extinct) If an cleric, president, protester or prostitute shouts "death to America" take $500 out of the $1Trillion defense budget and buy an assassin a plane ticket to go over and kill them. Eventually we will get them all. We could always blow up one of their planes for every one of ours they blow up. (sells Emirates stock when market opens tomorrow)

(f) Do something to help Africa, that does not include the use of our military or "nation building" 0r "delivering democracy". Anything, just do something, its a fucked continent with lots of starving kids and that fact makes me sad.

I am sure that over course of the next 6 months (the maximum time frame until they successfully blow up one of our commercial jets), I will offer more ideas, but until then, please attend your martial arts classes regularly and mail this post to your government representatives each week, on a day of your choosing.



Sunday, December 20, 2009

I Wonder .....

I wonder if I can change? I mean can I really fundamentally change after 46 years of developing habits (good and bad)? A few years ago, I would have said of course I CAN change, but its purely a matter of WANTING to. I am no longer sure that is the case. At some point, if the probability of an event occurring is so low, so minute that it is unlikely, then the difference between the possibility (any chance greater than zero)and the actual outcome is irrelevant.

IF I could change, what would I change?

I would lose weight, eat healthier and exercise more.

I would figure out a way to not be so critical of myself, others and our institutions (government, education, religion, community).

I would explore a new career path that was less pragmatic (than being part of a supply chain that manufactures airplanes and weapons and spare body parts and oil rigs and power plants), something in the pure sciences or philosophy.

I would become less dependent on other people's opinion of me.

I would spend much more time thinking about Unified Theory, not because I could crack it, but because I know that I can't.

I would think about sex much less frequently.

I would write at least one poem a day about my true feelings toward the world, toward myself, toward my loved ones and toward humanity.

I would create a cook book, not for sale, but for family and friends, because I love to cook and never write any of my recipes down and my food brings joy to others, so why not give them the chance to have a part of me when I'm not there?

Since 1993, my personal Mission Statement has been:

To Love and Be Loved
To Learn and Experience New Things
To Perform Meaningful Work
To Find Inner Peace.

I would give myself an A- on the first line, a B- on lines two and three, but a disappointing C on the last line. Although, 11 years ago the grades would have been C, C, C and F and 16 years ago when I wrote it, they were mostly F's. I am not sure if my performance has improved (real change) or if my grading scheme has gotten easier... (laughs to self)

I wonder ......

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Okay, So I am back

Hello blogasphere, I am back. This is my 3rd attempt at keeping a blog. I tried politics, humor, erotic poetry and just simple "what is up with me stuff" and it just got boring and tedious.

Lately, I have just felt like writing and writing for me, without any worry about who reads my blog or if anyone reads my blog. I just can't express all that I need to say in 140 characters (although I love the shit out of twitter).

Sometimes I will be funny, sometimes borish, sometimes silly and sometimes foolish, but I will always and forever be ME.

What I would really like to do with my life is to figure out a way to get all of the creative and joyous and fun and loving energy that we all put out and share on the internet and turn it into a new culture, a new nation, a new religion and way of life. How cool would it be to LOL more and care about people thousands of miles away that we have never met in person? How cool would it be to share music and laughter across the boundaries of age, gender, orientation, politics and religion? That would be way cool.

There is too much polarization in the world, too much hate, too much poverty, too much fear. Although these very things exist on the www, they are not so concentrated and pervasive and they seem easier to ignore..... out here.

That is my Holiday Wish - What's Yours?